Frequently Asked Questions and Answers about Life's Issues and the CALM Techniques

Anger

Question 1:

Anger is overwhelming me just lately and I was wondering what advice you have to help me control it?

There are so many things, I don't know just quite where to start.  Have you read the link to Anger on the Home Page of this website?  Self love and self esteem, along with lack of forgiveness could be issues.  Relationships - often with others, but more often with ourselves, can trigger anger and this can stem from emotional issues such as blame, guilt, judgements, frustration ... and more.  I know that I had a huge issue with anger, which was all part of my grief process.

Anger is one of life's great challenges which touches all of us at some time in our life.  If one continues to allow anger to be an issue in one's life, without doing something about it, then it can have severe consequences, including impaired health.  Who wants to be angry all their lives?  And remember basically we're doing it to ourselves.

Anger can become like a habit which is deeply embedded in the subconscious mind - it's the subconscious mind that we have to work with.  There are a couple of tools that you can start with - perhaps the book "Switch On To Your Inner Strength" and maybe the meditation tapes (or CDs): PP9 - Letting Go Anger, PP13 - Inner Peace & Harmony and PP10 - Self Worth & Confidence.  A suggested program is:

1. Buy "Piece of Mind" Pack - read the book and do the exercises.  Keep practising getting to your "Peaceful Place" fast (this will be explained in the book).

2. Buy the tape (or CD) "A Peaceful Place No. 9 - Letting Go Anger".  Do side 1 of this tape (or Track 1 on the CD) and then do side 2 every day (you will be doing side 2 of this tape whilst you are reading and doing the exercises from the "Piece of Mind" book) - my guess is that you would do this for about a month.

Note that I have not addressed relaxation - this will come automatically by using both the tapes mentioned plus the Piece of Mind Pack.

If you are able to attend a CALM Life Skills Seminar in your area it would also address the anger issues.

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Anorexia

Question 1:

How can I deal with the challenge of anorexia?

Although I am not a medical person, from my observations and (limited) experience I understand that self esteem can be a major component of anorexia and perhaps not coming to terms with "growing up" and being responsible for one's own life.  There is a very real need to develop new habits. There is a psychological element to this disorder - and there is certainly hope for complete recovery.

When facing any adversity, I believe that it is extremely important to talk about it with an understanding and knowledgeable counsellor.

It may be difficult for someone suffering from anorexia to realise that their eating habits are not "normal" and they may have a distorted view of what is a "normal" body image.  What I believe is that when you recognise a life challenge, or issue, then you're 50% of the way through the challenge.  The next 25% is saying - Yes, I want to do something about it.  The remaining 25% is doing it - that's what my methods help with - and to be more specific about this, it is important to use a goal, with visualisation to help re-establish a healthy, sensible eating regime.  In addition, a goal of body image would be important - to visualise your beautiful self wearing a lovely size 12 dress (instead of size 8).

Recently I happened to be listening to ABC Radio National Health Matters program and heard Dr. Norman Swan interviewing Dr Per Soedersten from Sweden on the topic of Anorexia and Bulimia. 

Dr Per Soedersten goes back to basics, throws out psychiatric theory, stops drugs and reckons these disorders are explained by progressive starvation and the profound changes to hormones in the brain which results from this starvation. His therapy is just about the only treatment for anorexia proven to work in a scientific trial. Dr Soedersten, a researcher and clinician, is Professor of Behavioural Neuro-Endocrinology at the Karolinska Institute, Novum, S-141 57 Huddinge, Sweden 

Dr Soedersten has amazing success results with the rate of remission being 75%, and that's full remission. Out of the 25% who do not go into full remission, half of those go into partial remission. About 10% or 12% do not get better. The risk of relapse is 7%.

In his treatment, Dr Soedersten does not use any medication at all because he believes the usual drugs prescribed simply do not work. In fact he believes that the main anti-depressants prescribed (eg. Prozac) make the condition worse, by producing the very hormone or chemical transmitter that inhibits eating (ie. Serotonin, which is prescribed for obese people to lose weight!).

Patients come in to the Institute for one-and-a-half days, for a very careful clinical examination, and are then divided on the basis of the severity of their disorder. About 30% are treated as in-patients for an on-average 25 days, and the others are treated as out-patients. The treatment consists of four things: training of eating using a computer-scale; warming up in warm rooms; slowing down the physical activity which is very important. The fourth thing is to restore social life and for that there is a range of support such as teachers, hairdressers, dentists and housing officers. 

It was a patient who suggested to Dr Soedersten to use a computer scale, because she said 'I don't know how to eat, I don't know how to feel when I have had sufficient.' So, to train them to eat, a patient is asked to estimate their level of when their appetite is satisfied and they have had enough to eat. The computer scale is used and the bar is gradually raised. 

Anxiety

Question 1:

I am a particularly anxious sort of person and would like to control this - can you help?

I believe that meditation is the best way through anxiety.  Start off meditating in the morning for ten minutes and in the evening for ten minutes, and see which timing suits you best (many people go to sleep at night, when they are trying to meditate, because they're too tired).  Once you've determined this, gradually increase your meditation to at least half an hour each day.  If you think you haven't got time to do it, then get up earlier in the morning - meditation is better than sleep.  I recommend my tape, or CD, PP5 - Meditation.

Often the cause of anxiety can be fears.  It's best to get to the cause of the fear, and to let this go in meditation.  What actually happens during the meditation is that you can develop a new habit which over-rides and replaces the fear.  I recommend my tape, or CD, PP15 - Overcoming Fear.  You can read more on my website under Fear or Anxiety.

ADHD

Question 1:

I am particularly interested in anything that might help my 13 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 7. He was put on Ritalin which really helped with his concentration and self control. Earlier this year we took him off Ritalin because he seemed to have improved so much but unfortunately this has resulted in him having major problems with his learning. He just can't concentrate long enough to learn things like multiplication, long division and all those things he will need when he moves up a Grade next year. The Ritalin certainly helped him with his school work but none of us want him to go back on it again. Do you have a book, seminar, course etc which might help him learn more effectively? 

I can understand the challenge for you, your son and your family and I can also understand that you do not want him to continue on Ritalin. Interestingly enough though, just recently I heard a doctor in the field of ADHD speaking on ABC radio who said that if Ritalin does help a child to concentrate in his study then it is probably needed - he also said that one can come off Ritalin later in life (after completion of studies).

Is your son at a supportive school (and will it be supportive next year)? It is important to shop around for a supportive school - some schools and teachers are much better than others.

If possible, make it as enjoyable as possible for your son to attend school (does he enjoy it?). Is he doing any extra curricular activities that he really enjoys and looks forward to? And it's always good to focus on and praise the things that he's really good at. The ability to relax and release stress - especially for a 13-year old with ADHD - is a very helpful "tool" in study and coping skills. You could work through the techniques outlined in "Students Steps To Success", with your son (13 is sometimes still a little young to do it on his own) - and this will be very helpful, especially the "Peaceful Place" technique, Goals and Self Esteem.

Your son is old enough to understand goal-setting and to work with that concept. You will find information about this in "Students Steps To Success" which works with using both sides of the brain, relaxation, goals, self esteem and mind charting. All of these skills can be taught to children by parents and may offer some additional ideas to use with your son. On my website there are a couple of chapters of some of my books available for reading (unfortunately not "Students Steps To Success" however my book "Piece of Mind" is similar). Most of my books (and sometimes tapes) are available in local libraries and if they're not then quite often libraries will order in items for people asking. 

There are a couple of tapes (or CDs) that complement this book - The Students Steps to Success Audio Pack (tape or CD double) which includes PP2 - Guided Imagery, PP10 - Self Worth and Confidence and PP11-Achieving in Exams and Effective Study. You can read brief descriptions of these at my website. Once again, the content of the meditation is suitable for younger or less mature children when modified (mainly shortened) by the parents. 

If you attend the CALM Life Skills Seminar then you will learn the skills at the seminar, in an experiential way, and be able to pass them on to your son. I do conduct some Student's Seminars in schools and I recognise that students do not think that it is "cool" to attend. To overcome this I have filmed the seminar and reproduced it on Video which, together with a workbook, will replace the seminar.

Question 2:

I recently attended your CALM Life Skills Seminar and bought the book "Students Steps To Success". My 11 yr old ADHD son has difficulty in making friends and thus finds himself becoming the "class clown" to attract attention. He is fine with one kid at a time but in a group he demands attention and puts people off. Other children reject, bully and humiliate him in these circumstances and he now has a belief system that he is unlikeable and will be isolated for the rest of his life. Can he have a goal about friends?

Regarding your son having a goal about having friends - it's a good goal and yes of course it does depend on other people being willing to be a friend. Remember the statement: "You put out for what you want". In other words, if you want more love in your life ... you give out love (in the face of difficulty - which of course can be challenging). In your son's case, he is going to need to hold the focus in the goal of having a couple of friends and at the same time he will need to be very friendly. Use what he is good at, that is "he is fine with one kid at a time" - expand this to include two and three friends - the visualisation process is good to use. This means he will need to do everything that a good friend does. Have a chat to him about this and see if you can reason with him about the demanding behaviour that at the moment he does exhibit. Teach him about goals, visualisation and positive self talk. All of this is in the book you bought "Students Steps To Success". There are no guarantees in life, but we do the best that we can do.

Bed wetting

Question 1:

How can I use your techniques to help my child who wets the bed?

Staying dry at night can be a challenge.  One of the main things is not to draw attention to it excessively - especially by using negative language.  Always use encouraging language, particularly when the bed is dry ... say "Well done, that's great".

It is also a good idea to work with a goal with your child.  The goal could be something like "I enjoy waking up being dry as my bladder gets stronger and stronger",  and "When I get the urge to urinate I confidently wake up and go to the toilet".  It's important that visualisation is done with the goal as well, and it can be done just as your child goes to bed.  You can say it to your child as they're asleep too - it's amazing what they hear.

Closing your eyes

Question 1:

Do you have to close your eyes when you relax and go to your Peaceful Place?

No. Have you ever seen someone else, or caught yourself, staring. That's the Alpha state. Single focused concentration. You are not looking at anything when you're staring, but your mind is fixed on a subject. Small children do it often and easily - you can train yourself to do it.  What about studying in Alpha - of course your eyes remain open.

Depression

Question 1:

How can your techniques be used with depression?

I would always start from self talk, goals, meditation and all of this geared towards replacing the negative habits with the positive habits. I really want to emphasise the importance of self talk .  Becoming aware of precisely how we talk to ourselves is extremely important.  Unfortunately (or fortunately) ... we listen to ourselves, and we talk to ourselves 50 to 60,000 times a day.  Once we become aware of any negative talk whatsoever, we must do something about it.  It's negative self talk which affects self confidence and self esteem which can drive you down into depression.  I encourage people to start on a system of recognising self talk and changing it every time to be positive, this will help.  It seems so simple and yet it has far reaching and dramatic effects.

It is really important to work with goals because it's from the goal that motivation will develop.  You are expanding your Comfort Zone with whatever it is you want to achieve, and remember, moving towards the goal is where happiness comes from.  In addition I do believe that meditation is a very powerful tool to help overcome depression.  All these topics are covered in my two-day CALM Life Skills Seminar.

Question 2

I have registered for your seminar and I would like to know what I can start doing now, about my depression, as it is a few months before I see you?

What I believe is that when you recognise a life challenge, or issue which is holding you back, (which you do) then you're 50% of the way through the challenge. The next 25% is saying - Yes, I want to do something about it. So you are 75% of the way through - congratulations. The remaining 25% is doing it - which is what you're asking about - and that's where my CALM Life Skills methods help. 

Here are some alternate ways and some specific advice as to how you can use my tools and techniques to help with anxiety and depression.

1. Buy the video of the 3-hour seminar - "Relax and Release Stress in 30 Seconds" at a cost of $66. This will physically teach you how to relax and release stress quickly.

2. To gain further understanding about the mind and work with goals, buy the book "Piece of Mind" ($22). You will need this to work with goals because having goals will help pull you out of depression, create motivation and help with positive self talk.

3. Read my book "Switch On to Your Inner Strength" ($22) and do the tape PP#5 - Meditation ($20).

There is a paper about Depression on my website with further advice as to a way forward with depression - make sure you read Cathy's story (Cathy's doctor diagnosed Clinical Depression).

Question 3:

Below is an exchange of communication which I had with a seminar participant who was following up about Depression:

I am writing to you in the hope that you might be able to offer me some advice. I did the CALM Life Skills Seminar a while ago and have found that I got a lot out of it. I have been focusing on a healing goal around a health problem, namely depression, which I have had off and on for more than 20 years now. I have a firm belief that I can use the tools from the workshop, primarily going to Peaceful place and working on the goal with my emotional anchor etc., to get to a point where I can live depression free.

Sandy: Good one! 

I have however had a few problems recently, with the depression with anxiety resurfacing again. There are a number of symptoms that I instantly recognize, that are a kind of precursor to a full on bout. Without going into too much detail these include anxiety with feelings of irritability, confusion, forgetfulness and an inability to plan tasks and make decisions. Often even simple chores such as cleaning and cooking seem like huge tasks. Though I must explain that these don't happen in a flash or necessarily happen concurrently but rather kind of build over time or coexist by degrees and often come and go at different times of the day. I have a fairly high pressure job and these symptoms tend to lead to further anxiety and, in the past, a kind of a spiral downward begins which leads to a full-blown bout of depression.

Sandy: At each time that you have symptoms of irritability then that's the time, immediately, to use your "circuit breaker" - in other words, your "Peaceful Place" (PP). Basically you're using this as an interrupt mechanism, telling yourself that you're aware of being irritable and that you CAN do something about it.

I have worked on a couple of goals since the seminar, the first was focusing on the words " I am powerfully experiencing positive and clear thinking" I found this to be highly effective, especially in matters surrounding work. After about a couple of months I switched to another goal which I felt was highly relevant and a bit broader. Initially I worked with the words " I am motivated, energetic and enthusiastic about life." I worked on this for several weeks visualizing my joy and energy in a number of areas of my life. However I found a lot of negative thoughts and self talk increasingly arose. After discussing this with my partner, who had also taken the workshop, she pointed out that there wasn't a strong emotional element to this goal. I
then modified it to include the word joyously so that it now is "I am joyously motivated, energetic and enthusiastic about life"

Sandy: I think that the approach you've taken is fine - even including the word "joyously". Remember, you have been working with depression for 20 years - it is likely that it will take a little while to completely eradicate it. I have heard of a high profile businessman battling depression, whereby he says that he has learned techniques that he can use to handle his depression. Apparently he still sometimes has 2 or 3 days at a time of depression and I understand that he stays at home during this time, using the techniques much more frequently. He has said that the frequency of the bouts of depression is decreasing. To me, I think that by you continually using PP and Goals, plus positive self-talk, this will have a cumulative, beneficial effect. Please don't be disappointed if you appear to "regress" at times. Just know that you will overcome it.

I have worked on this goal going to peaceful place five times a day, applying my emotional anchor while visualizing myself being energetic and joyous in a variety of areas of my life for at least three weeks now. However there seems to be an increase in the types of aforementioned
symptoms that I have experienced and I really want to avoid getting into a deep depression. I have, as I have said, continued to work with my goal regularly and so I am having a variety of mixed feelings including doubts, misgivings and questions, which have prompted me to write to you.

Sandy: Keep doing this and the answer above this paragraph is relevant.

I should mention, that I had been on medication prior to taking the workshop but had decided to stop taking it as I felt a need to prove that it was clearly the goal, and my own will power that will make this work for me.

Sandy: Congratulations ! This is an enormous step. Have you acknowledged what you've done and congratulated "your child within" ? By the way, I have heard other people tell me that they have found it helpful to go back onto a reduced level of medication on occasions when they appear to have a particularly challenging spell - I don't know if this is relevant to you, perhaps you should discuss it with your doctor ?

Is it usual for the subconscious to fight so hard and to throw up challenges to my goal in the way that the depression symptoms might reappear in a kind of last-ditch fight to throw me off my goal focus? Or, am I missing the point with something around the goal and healing and not working it in the correct way?

Sandy: Yes, this is absolutely normal - remember, you've had depression for 20 years, it might take a while to overcome it. Keep up the good work.

Dyslexia

Question 1:

How can I deal with the challenge of dyslexia - do you have any products that might help?

The journey of dealing with dyslexia is challenging, and ultimately for those who persist in working with this challenge, the results can be fortuitous - skills developed along the journey can often end up being a great advantage in life, sometimes even careers are developed.  For instance, many artists are dyslexic.  People with dyslexia are more often those with high IQs - we just need to find out what sparks their passion.

It is important to shop around for a supportive school. Some schools and teachers are much better than others. One of my personal preferences in this area is the Steiner school system. Consulting an Educational Kinesiologist can be helpful in the area of dyslexia, especially with exercises to help with "cross-over" from the left to the right side of the brain.

Mind Charting is one of the best skills for dyslexics to learn - by using these they can learn to turn words into picture or symbol memories.  (We know of students who were at the bottom of a class and came up to the top 10% using this technique).  I think the best material I have to help is the "Students Steps to Success" book which works with using both sides of the brain, relaxation, goals, self esteem and mind charting.  Most of my information suits students 13 years old and upwards, however I do encourage parents to teach children who are younger than this.  I have tapes (or CDs) that go with this book and the tape content is suitable when modified - mainly shortened - by parents

Emotional Anchor

Question 1:

What is an emotional anchor and what is it used for?

Emotion is the language of the subconscious mind.  In other words it is the actual feeling of emotion that helps us imprint on the subconscious mind - that is, memory.  For example, we can easily recall any good, or bad, event that's happened in our lives.  Why is that?  It's because of the emotion that was involved.

In my CALM Life Skills Seminar we build  an Emotional Anchor (you can have anchors for anything).  So what we do is recall good past events, feel the emotion of each of these events and put that emotion into an anchor.  The anchor that I advise people to use is a physical movement, eg. moving your thumb over your forefinger, or touching your forehead, or pulling your ear lobe.  It must be the same movement each time.  To build the Anchor, as you experience the emotion of the event, you make that chosen physical movement.

To use the Anchor it's the process in reverse.  As you say your goal (after you reach your PP) you then visualise it and feel good about the achievement of the goal - just as you feel good about achieving your goal, you give yourself that movement (your Emotional Anchor) which will send a charge of positive emotion through you ... and remember that emotion is memory.  So this action is actually imprinting the success of the goal into the subconscious mind.  When your subconscious mind has got it then you will have 100% of the mind working towards the goal.  Unfortunately when we do goals with just the conscious mind, the subconscious mind can sabotage you, because it hasn't got the goal.

Question 2:

When I'm in my PP doing my goal, do I create the feelings of success by visualising the accomplishment of my goal and then use my emotional anchor?

Yes.  You can actually use the visualisations of achieving your goal and also use all the visualisation of the  reasons why you want to achieve that goal and the fantastic feelings of success that go with that achievement.

Question 3:

Now that I have established my emotional anchor through the guided imagery exercise on PP2 Guided Imagery Tape, do I have to keep practising that same exercise or is the emotional anchor now established?

It's established, and it always needs "topping up".  This can be done by going to past good events, or  as soon as really good events happen, then do it straight away.

Question 4:

I did not get any physical feeling in my body when I formed my emotional anchor – how does this effect me using it?

Many of us have been taught not to show our emotions – 'sign of weakness', 'don't cry', etc., and our bodies have learned to suppress the resultant physical feelings. With practice in recalling pleasant emotional events (using the Peaceful Place No. 2 tape is a great way) we can get in touch not only with more positive events, but the physical feeling as well. The goal process is just as powerful, even when you don't recognise the physical feeling: apply your emotional anchor and at the same time recall quickly the good positive event, and how you felt at that time. This of course adds to the good feeling of seeing yourself succeed in your goal. By doing this there is a resultant emotion, which you may not at first recognise, but this helps to indelibly imprint the success of your goal in your subconscious mind.

Question 5:

I find it hard to feel emotional about anything - any suggestions?

Go to your Peaceful Place and think of good events in your life. If necessary go to a time when you where a child and there was a special event like receiving a present – birthdays, Christmas, parties, picnics, etc. Then listen to the tape a Peaceful Place No. 2 (Guided Imagery), side two, once again (you can't do it too often). You will find that recalling the good event, with you knowing you felt good at that time will be sufficient to start the cycle of emotion and feelings to take effect. You will probably also find that emotions will "loosen up" and come to the surface. This process is to be encouraged.

Question 6:

My negative emotion invades me in my Peaceful Place - what can I do about it?

Negative emotion can often tend to dominate our thought processes, acting like a protection mechanism, eg. "…this is what happened before…" Treat the negative emotion just like an invading thought. You have power over it (the thought) so just let it go - in one ear and out the other, or attach it to a never ending escalator, or put it in a plane flying overhead. You must actually do this in your mind over and over again until it goes.

Question 7:

Does the emotion used in establishing the Emotional Anchor need to be the same type of  emotion when emotionalising a goal?

The emotion that you bring back with your Emotional Anchor is actually the physical feeling of feeling good. It need not have any relationship to the goal at all. You're converting emotion to a feeling in the body; how it was originally created doesn't matter (as long as the experience was positive). What was it that I said about the subconscious mind? It does not know the difference between reality and imagination. So you're fooling the subconscious mind with the use of the emotion, by only tapping into the physical feeling, not the circumstances, when you use your Emotional Anchor.  Here's an example - your goal might be to buy a house; as you're doing your goal in your PP up comes the good emotion for example, of excelling in several sporting achievements (which you've already put into your emotional anchor) - so is that OK?  Yes, of course, because it's all positive emotion, and emotion is the language of the subconscious mind.

Question 8:

I don't get any physical feeling when I remember the good event. What should I do?

That's OK. Just apply the Anchor when you are re-living the event in your mind because you know or imagined you felt good at the time. Some people find it difficult to express emotion - maybe they have been taught to suppress it, keep a stiff upper lip, don't cry, don't be vulnerable, etc. Just make it OK to re-live the event without the emotion and gradually the emotion will start coming through for you.

Question 9:

What if I don't easily recall good events in my life to build my Emotional Anchor?

What you can do is to start building your Anchor each day. If you've done something you feel good about - pat yourself on the back and anchor that feeling. If someone says to you "You look great today", or "I really like what you're wearing" – feel good about that and anchor that feeling. This will help you to build your Emotional Anchor and keep it topped up ready to use for your goals - or to feel good.

Finding things

Question 1:

I put things down and then can't find them. Help please!

The major reason is that you didn't pay attention to where you put them, that's why you don't know where they are. Take just a fraction of a second to pay attention to where you put them. For one fraction of a second look at the spot where you are going to put something down, let's say your wallet, and pretend to yell "wallet" inside your mind. It could be "wallet" and "table" to associate the fact that your wallet is on the table. That's all, just for one fraction of a second. Now for that one fraction of a second it's like recalling your mother's maiden name. You access Alpha, for that one fraction of a second starting at the spot where you put your wallet and saying "WALLET", "TABLE"! That triggers the memory response inside your mind. In fact you open up your filter of the Reticular Activating System. Try that – it works!

Goals

Question 1:

Below is a Question and Answer Session I had at a follow up seminar which seems to cover a lot of ground, and summarises many of the aspects of goals.

Why is goal-getting challenging?

Because it represents new learning experiences and change?

Why are learning experiences challenging?

Because they take place outside your Comfort Zone and make some people feel stressful, inadequate or uncomfortable.

How can relaxation help?

By relaxing, you're able to put your goals into your subconscious mind and achieve them faster and without stress. This is because:

a. With relaxation, your body is relaxed whilst your mind is receptive. The "Filter" between the conscious and the subconscious mind is open, allowing information to pass easily into (or out of) your subconscious mind. This mind is the storehouse for memory, habits, personality and your self image.

b. It's a fact that the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. You can put your goal (whatever you want to achieve) into your subconscious mind as thought it's already true. Once your subconscious mind – the 88% part of your mind – has got it, then it becomes reality to the conscious mind – the other 12%. This way goals happen faster.

So what is the conscious mind's role in obtaining goals?

Decision making, desire and direction of the subconscious mind. Once you know what you want to achieve - a better mark in an exam, a good relationship with your parents, to do well in your sporting pursuits - then it's the job of the conscious mind to get the goals into the subconscious.

If you know you want to achieve something consciously then why tell the subconscious mind?

The answer to that question is the real key to success. The role of the subconscious mind is to keep you in your Comfort Zone with all the habits that you have now. If you want to change habits this can be stressful and therefore rejected by the subconscious mind. The conscious mind makes the decision to go for the goal and then reprograms it into the subconscious mind, in the relaxed state – this then means that both minds work in co-operation with each other.

Is there much conflict between the two minds?

Yes there can be. The conscious mind wants the goal and the subconscious mind wants to keep you where you are right now and presents delays, doubts and obstacles to keep you from getting the goal. The conscious mind's job is to transfer what you want to achieve into the subconscious mind, where once in, it will become the new habit. When the subconscious mind has got it, then you achieve it… faster.

Can this be made any easier?

Yes, by getting as much support as you can possibly muster. Support means anything/anyone that will help you achieve your goal. It's important to share your goal with only those people who will support and help you. This support may come from friends, family and teachers. The main thing is to ask for what you want – you deserve it!

Can you have a happiness goal?

One of the things that the science of dreams has shown is that happiness is a journey. Happiness comes from moving towards a goal, not actually getting it. In fact, to remain happy, always have a goal that you are working towards. A famous guru describes the secret of happiness as "BE HAPPY". In other words a verb – a doing word. ATTITUDE is a real key – you can't buy happiness, can you? I'll be happy when I get through school. I'll be happy when I get a job. I'll be happy when I get a great partner. I'll be happy when I'm married. I'll be happy when we have a house. I'll be happy when we have children. I'll be happy when we go overseas. I'll be happy when… Have you seen or heard this before? Just remember BE HAPPY – it's an attitude.

How do you deal with failure?

Well, it's true that only one person can come first in the 100 metre dash. So what about the person that comes second? Attitude once again is the answer. Believing that the failure is in fact "a hiccup in a forward direction" is a great start. Learning from "failure" and then modifying the goal is a good way forward. Knowing that you've done the best you can do – your personal best – is good, positive self talk. Another thing – sometimes failure happens when we're not "on course". We could be going for a goal which is not in harmony with our life's purpose or values. There is a part of us, inside, that knows what's right or wrong for us. If we go against what we know is right then we feel uncomfortable. "Failing" may be a signal to get back on track with what we really want. I know of so many people who have just missed out on a particular course – sometimes by ¼ of a mark. This has set them on a completely new course and, years later, they were really glad about that.

Is guilt part of that uncomfortable feeling?

Yes, it can be. For instance, you may have a study goal and want to do really well in a test next week. Your friends convince you to go to a movie but you don't enjoy it because you're worried and feeling guilty about not being at home studying! Guilt is pointless. If you go to the movie – enjoy it. If you muck up over something or make the wrong choice, do whatever is necessary to correct it and get back on track. Don't hang on to the guilt – it's unnecessary and you can't turn back time.

Question 2:

I have the goals written down and need to look at the paper to remember the wording of each one.  How does that affect my alpha state when I open my eyes to read?

If you have to do this, then just do one goal at a time.  By this time I reckon you'll know them off by heart, without having to look at the paper.

Question 3:

Can you point me in a direction that may allow me to work out how to apply my "Peaceful Place" meditation to specific goals?

Two ways of getting goals into the subconscious mind ...  fast way - is the 30 second 8-steps method where you write out your goal, visualise the success of your goal and emotionalise it (emotion being the language of the subconscious mind).

The second way is by meditation in the Theta state.  If the specific goal is not addressed on any of the meditation tapes (or CDs) that I have - PP3 to 15, - then the only way is to write it out and make your own tape.  The words actually say the goal and describe the visualisation and then of course describe the emotionalisation.  (All this of course is done using PP and then going down through the colours, etc... )

Question 4:

Can you use your subconscious mind for multiple goals?

When you deliberately work at achieving goals faster by using the subconscious mind, then we really only think of one thing at a time.  So after you've reached your "Peaceful Place" and you're now through the Reticular Activating Filter, working with the subconscious mind, you say the goal, you visualise the goal, you emotionalise it and then let it go.  Now you've done one goal - which is only one topic.  Now you can go on to a 2nd goal and do the same thing. And then a 3rd and 4th, etc... You do not think of all the goals at once - you do them one after the other.  With the conscious mind we can think of up to 9 things at a time, that is for example, when you're driving a car - you can think of the car in front, the car behind, the truck on the left, the bus on the right, listening to the radio, listening to your passengers, getting directions from your spouse, reading a road sign, etc... This is the conscious mind.

Question 5:

If I've got a goal to increase my weight and lead a fit and healthy lifestyle, should I go out and book into a gym and weight lifting program straight away?

I'd wait a while and instead start straight away imagining your goal coming true after going to your Peaceful Place and using your Emotional Anchor. What will happen is you will "fall in love" with the idea of being fit and healthy and after a couple of weeks (after your Reticular Activating System has found you the best membership deal in town) you'll be practically bursting down the walls to get into the gym and it'll be a joy to be there.

If you go immediately without reprogramming your subconscious mind, it will be conscious mind "will power" that is at work. Exercising will power makes it difficult and boring. If at some stage you stop using your will power, then it is very easy to slip back into old ways – that old habit is still in your subconscious mind.

First change the old habit to the one that you want, and you'll love every minute of your new fit and healthy lifestyle.

Question 6:

How important is having a goal?

One of the things that the science of dreams has shown is that happiness is a journey. Happiness comes from moving towards a goal, not actually getting it. To remain happy always have a goal that you are working towards. A famous guru describes the secret of happiness as "BE HAPPY". In other words a verb – a doing word.

Question 7:

My goal is to build up my body and I chose an intermediate goal to help me, this being weight lifting, which I have never done. What do I do now?

Before you start physically weight lifting you bring in your goal, see yourself doing weight lifting, enjoying it, see your body developing the way you want, feel good about yourself and use your Emotional Anchor. After two weeks or so you will have an attitude of "let me at those weights" – and you'll do it.

Question 8:

My goal seems so distant, as I know it cannot happen for several years. What do you suggest I do?

It is important to break down your goal into what is achievable in – five years, one year and perhaps one month. The monthly goal is a stepping stone to the yearly goal, and the annual goal is a stepping stone towards the five year goal. It is best to concentrate on your monthly goal which then is not so distant and you know you are achieving.

Question 9:

I have several goals I'd like to work on.  What is the best way to work on these in my Peaceful Place?  One after the other at the one session?  Or is it better to porpoise in and out and do a different one each time?

Either way is fine - I do all mine together, that is, say each goal, visualise the goal, apply Emotional Anchor, let it go and then say the next goal, etc...

Question 10:

How do I know whether it's the wrong goal or just another challenge along the way?

It's important to ask yourself and then listen to what your inner voice is telling you - particularly in meditation. You can learn how to tell the difference between what's right for you or what you want, rather than just do something because your acquaintances tell you what's best for you.

Question 11:

Sometimes, no matter what I do, I can't get my goal – what can I do?

First, answer the following question: "What stops me getting my goal?"

Now, put a blue line under those things OUTSIDE yourself which stop you getting your goal, eg. no money, someone else beats me to it, my friends knock the idea and discourage me. Put a red line under those things INSIDE yourself that stop you getting your goal, eg. lack of confidence and courage, takes too long and I get bored, I keep changing the goal, lose enthusiasm, talk to myself negatively.

Know that you have control over all the things that have a red line under them. Remember, you talk to yourself 50,000 times a day and when you talk negatively to yourself – who listens? YOU DO – and what's more, your subconscious mind believes you!  This is called self sabotage.

And believe it or not, you also have control over some of the things with the blue line under them. For instance, if your friends knock you for wanting to spend a lot of time studying, you make the final decision – to join them or to keep studying. It might not be an easy decision, but one you alone should make. If people are negative all the time, you choose whether or not to be with them.

What about when someone beats you to your goal, or is better than you? You also have control over that situation because…

IT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS,
IT'S HOW YOU RESPOND TO IT
THAT'S IMPORTANT.

Someone else may have "won", but it's your attitude to the result, and your own achievement that counts. It's your attitude to what happens that's the important thing. Respond negatively then you really are the loser. Respond positively and use it as a learning experience and you win no matter what!

What if I don't get the goal?

As I said before, you have control over your attitude to the end result - not everybody can come first in the 100 metre race. It depends on what you do once you know you haven't got your goal. Another good clue is to use self talk like… "I've done the best that I can do"… or … "I've done my personal best" … or … "Whatever happens it's for the highest good." Answer the following question: "So what are some of the things I can do if I don't get my goal?"  Remember, if you fail when doing goals, then you're "failing" in a forward direction, and you can actually learn from that "failure".  Here's a perfect example of this.  My friend's daughter from the second year in High School wanted to be a lawyer.  The entrance mark into Sydney University was 98.5 - she got 98.2 and just missed out.  She was devastated and decided to do Economics/Law instead.  Unfortunately for the first six months she was still depressed and then she decided to do well in the exams.  At the end of the year, after doing well,  she had the choice of transferring to Law and thus fulfill her dream.  She decided against it and topped Economics/Law.  Today she is so happy that she didn't get into Law, because she was able to pursue another career which she absolutely loved.  My question ... did she fail?

Question 12:

What happens if I have lots of goals?

Do the following exercise…

What are all my goals?
1. Now group them into similar subjects.
2. Number them in order of preference.
3. Go for the first one in each group.

Question 13:

What do I do when I have conflicting goals?

Ask yourself "What's most important to me?". "What fits in with my values?". Think about what you want to do several years down the track and ask "Which goal will best help me get there"? Then prioritise your goals, ie. put them in the order in which you want to achieve them.

Question 14:

How long before my goal comes true?

It depends on how often you tell your subconscious mind and how much emotion you use and of course what is realistic.

Lots of Repetition  +  Lots of Emotion  =  Faster & Easier Goal Achievement.  Why is this so? Because the 88% of the Subconscious Mind has got the goal, the 12% of the conscious mind wants the goal and now you have 100% going for the goal, with all good, positive self-talk.

Question 15:

How can porpoising affect goals?

If you do porpoising 20 times a day, 30 seconds each time – that's 10 minutes a day – after a month it will be automatic and you will be able to:

• automatically release stress in 30 seconds
• easily reprogram your subconscious mind with your goal so that it becomes habit
• tap into your creativity – especially in longer sessions in your Peaceful Place
• recall "forgotten" answers during an exam

Grief

Question 1:

How can I cope with extreme grief?

I encourage people to talk about their grief and about their Loved Ones. "Forgetting" about events is almost impossible and in many cases not even desirable.  There is no doubt that life tests us all and many of us go through more than others - there often seems to be neither rhyme nor reason that we can fathom.  Hatred and anger can be destructive forces in our lives I believe that they can be addressed and "worked through".  When facing any adversity, I believe that it is extremely important to discuss it and work with what is at hand.  Not talking about it is the worst thing one can do, because this can lead to the subconscious mind handling it with nightmares, hot sweats, unexplained anger, irrational action and PTSD.  The emotion around the event is what actually causes the memory of the event. If bringing the negative event to mind causes pain in the way of anger, hostility, blame, hurt etc, then one is hurting oneself. For instance whenever I think of my daughters I may be guilty of thinking, momentarily, of their horrific death but I now immediately replace the negative thought with fond, loving memories.

My book "Switch On to Your Inner Strength" may be helpful. You can read about it and see the first couple of chapters on this website.

Question 2:

Are there any other books you can recommend which deal with grief?

Here are the names of some books that may be helpful with grief (along with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's books, which are some of the best-known ones). "Life After Life" mentioned below, has an Introduction by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:

Name of Book Author ISBN #

Coping with Grief Mal McKissock 0-7333-0236-X
Life After Life Raymond A Moody, Jr., MD 0-553-24452-3
Life After Death Neville Randall 0-552-11487-1
Everyone's Guide to the Hereafter Ken Akehurst through G.M. Roberts 0-85435-414-X
The Awakening Heart Betty J. Eadie 0-671-55878-1

Question 3:

I am really struggling with my attachment to my ex-partner. I have purchased your tapes, but i can't recall all of the topics - is one of those useful for learning to 'let go'? I seem to be quite stuck- any thoughts?

I don't have a specific tape for letting go, however 2 thoughts come to mind. The first is that we really don't need the love of another person to happily survive, if we love ourselves enough - the tape (or CD) PP13 - Inner Peace & Harmony is the tape that really addresses this area (sometimes I recommend the tape (or CD) PP10 - Self Worth & Confidence when I perceive this to be the issue).

The second thought that comes to mind is that the process of letting go was discussed and observed in the film "A Leap of Faith" during the seminar and we saw how Debbie actually "said" to her dead parents that she needs to let them go to get on with her life (I've just realised that you haven't done the seminar yet). I actually address this in the book "Switch On to Your Inner Strength" so perhaps this book may be an avenue of assistance.

After understanding both the above processes, make a decision to let go and then actually bring the person into your mind during meditation - send all your love to that person "for the highest good of all concerned" and then say "I now let you go" - do this several times. A meditation tape (or CD) that you could play while doing this is PP5 - Meditation.

Healing

Question 1:

My mother is very sick with cancer and I have had a recommendation to look at what you do. Could you please give me a brief summary of your philosophy before I take any action?

The proven science of psycho-neuro-immunology is such that with meditation we can actually increase our T-4 (fighting) cells within our immune system. Sometimes this strengthening of our immune system can be sufficient to neutralise cancerous cells and thus put the cancer into remission. Of course, other than the physical causes of cancer, there are many other factors that can cause or contribute to cancer, for instance the increased stress that we have within the body, caused through negative emotions such as blame, guilt, anger, revenge, hatred, grief, mental self-abuse, and more. Indeed there is a cancer now known as stress-induced cancer. 

All of the things that we do in life, which can contribute to ill health, we can undo - specific meditations are one of the best ways towards this. Many doctors teach about this and I would recommend the books by Dr Bernie Siegal - being "Love, Medicine & Miracles", "Peace, Love and Healing" as being particularly useful. There are no iron-clad guarantees in life and not even the medical profession speaks of "cure" when they're dealing with cancer - they speak about "remission". There are many positive outcomes of healing from people using the methods that I espouse - including many successes of coming through cancer.

Many people are unaware that their own thinking is negative and that this negativity can contribute towards illness. Awareness here is the key - and it is 100% correct to say that one thing we do have control over is how we handle whatever happens to us in life. I certainly believe that many times people can get cancer and the end result can be death - I say that this means that it is their time to die. I also believe that many people who are given the "death sentence" of say six months to live, can increase their life span or indeed overturn this "sentence".

It is important of course to have the best medical attention available - and then to have faith in your doctor, yourself and your treatment. Spiritual faith is also very important for a lot of people. I think it is extremely important for people not to just entirely rely on what others can do for them but to take a pro-active role and be involved in their own healing. This includes that for any illness or disorder that one may have, learn about it and get to know all the "ins and outs" and "dos and dont's". Check out relevant websites and nutritional supplementation. Shop around for a good doctor - one whom you trust and who will support you - this is all important.

A lot more detail about this particular subject is in my book "Switch on to Your Inner Strength".

Question 2:

I am currently using meditation and deep relaxation and feel I could do more to heal myself. Can you tell me more about the 'healing tape' and how to get it?

The Tape or CD  PP4 - Healing Yourself is a meditation where I speak over the music created by Ken Davis - "Our World" from "Pan Flutes with Nature". Using guided imagery and your own visualisation you work towards dealing with an illness by directing your mind and activating your own immune system. And of course this technique is to be used in combination with others including having faith in your doctor, your treatment, yourself and your spiritual faith - whatever is true for you.

You can contact CALM Pty Ltd to get the tape ($20 + $4 for P&P) or the CD ($25 + $4 for P&P) or by using a credit card you can order via the Internet.

Question 3:

My mother has a cancerous growth where she had a hysterectomy 2 years ago. She has had several courses of chemotherapy but the latest one has been unsuccessful in shrinking the growth and her negative state of mind does not help the situation. Her attitude is "it is still there and I'm dying", regardless of the fact that she is still alive and there is hope. My father died of cancer two and a half years ago and this plays on her mind to a large extent. Do you have any suggestions? Which one of your products do you think will assist us the most?

One of the things that you would really need to do, is to actually ask your Mother does she want to get better, or does she want to die. 

Attitude is an enormous component of recovery. Hope can heal. My book "Switch On to Your Inner Strength" is one that actually covers this area (as does my CALM Life Skills 2-day seminar.) In the book and at the seminar we actually discuss a true story about a lady who also had the attitude of "Nothing can be done" - she also had the thought of "runs in the family" because her mother died of cancer. Luckily, with help and support, she changed her mind and actually put her cancer into remission. Meditation has helped many people in their fight with cancer and I would also suggest my guided imagery tapes or CDs: PP3 - Releasing Hurt, PP4 - Healing Yourself & PP5 - Meditation (you can see brief descriptions of all of these on my website.) Dr. Bernie Siegal's books are also excellent - two that immediately come to mind are "Love, Medicine and Miracles" and "Peace, Love and Healing". Petrea King and Ian Gawler are people who have written books after healing their own cancer.

Has your mother taken a nutritional approach at all? I know of many people who have gone down this path with a very superior nutritional product which has produced great results. 

Question 4:

I'm having hard time setting my goals. My husband is now diagnosed with cancer. Before this happened my goals were letting go anger, releasing weight and forgetting about pain in my broken leg. Now, I can't set my goal to be healing from cancer because I'm not the one suffering from cancer. I wonder if making my goal as self discipline or self control or something like that is valuable? Maybe in this way I won't fall apart emotionally as I'm going through the situation I have now. But I wonder if they are not specific enough to have as a goal....What I'm doing right now is meditation to help with stress in my confused state. Could you please advise me what to do?

The first thing is to look after yourself so that you can help your husband. This means that you must be totally relaxed, focused, positive, confident and supportive. You cannot do your husband's goals for him. Much as you want him to get better, he is the one that has to do "the work". All you can do is support, encourage and be really positive about his recovery. So I'll address your goals first.

The Meditation - PP3 - Relasing Hurt, will address the pain in your leg. The Meditation PP9 - Letting Go Anger, will address the anger issue. I would tend to not concentrate on weight release right now - do this later. By doing these 2 tapes (or CDs) on alternate days, you will also address relaxation and help with the anxiety in your life. This will also help with being emotionally strong and stable. One goal for you to work on as outlined in the book "Piece of Mind" could be ... "I am a positive, confident, stable person, supporting my husband effectively." And then of course you would be visualising all the situations that you find yourself in - being able to show confidence, stability, strength, etc...

Now, as to your husband. Get him to read "Piece of Mind" first and understand it. Get him to go to my website and read the paper on healing, which includes some testimonials. The link is: http://www.calm.com.au/pages/02cancer.shtml 

The next step is for him to read the book "Switch On to Your Inner Strength" which covers the topic of cancer and what you can do with your mind. And then get the tape (or CD) PP4 - Healing Yourself. This one should be done at least twice a day.

You could start investigating other material in this area, particularly by Dr. Bernie Siegel - "Love, Medicine & Miracles", "Peace, Love & Healing", etc... 

It is important to get onto a good diet and probably some immune-strengthening supplementation. He should be under a good, supportive doctor who indeed also supports and monitors him in doing every alternative therapy that he can. The main thing is that hope can heal - hope is a "live" message (hopelessness is a "die" message). So being very positive about the illness and looking at it as being like a "Re-set button" - another challenge in life (albeit a big one). All this is described in "Switch On to Your Inner Strength". I've also attached a Protocol (program for people with cancer to follow).

Question 5:

One of the things I want to do is get rid of my migraines. I know they are related to both stress and muscle tightness in my shoulders and neck (which in itself is stress related). Since doing your CALM Life Skills Seminar there is some improvement although I have still had several bad migraines. I do my PP on average about 15 times a day. Weekends are still a bit of a challenge with a different schedule, but I am starting to make a difference there. I have also tried the healing meditation you taught us, and while this has made some difference, I have not yet been able to remove the pain of the migraine completely. I had a migraine last Friday and then again on Sunday, and tried the healing meditation on both days. It did make some difference, but I had to resort to taking painkillers on Sunday to be able to keep going, and spent several hours in bed on Friday. Could you please pass on any suggestions you might have?

If your stress increases migraine, then what you can do is get rid of the stress. The best way to get rid of stress is to meditate for half an hour daily (going to PP will help - but deeper stress is released at the deeper Theta level achieved during meditation).

Do you feel a warning that you have a migraine coming on? If you do then it's good to at least have a warning signal because then you can start doing something about it. What do you do? I recommend that you learn PP3 - Pain Release Tape or CD so that you can basically do it in your mind in about 2 or 3 minutes. The only thing is, you will not be able to go down to the Theta level in this short time frame - that's OK. When you feel the signs of a migraine coming on, then immediately go to your PP and do the Pain Release meditation (PP3) - you can continue to do this as often as you wish. I think this will be more effective than doing PP4 - Healing Yourself.

What else have you done about your migraines? I know many people who have also taken alternative health treatments, including vitamin supplement therapy - perhaps you could consider this approach as well

Hypnosis

Question 1:

Can hypnosis be used together with your method of relaxation?

Hypnosis is when someone else is doing the work and implanting thoughts in your mind.  Self hypnosis is when you are doing it yourself and totally in control of yourself.  The method of meditation that I espouse is active meditation whereby the guided imagery is suggested and the individual listening to the tape does the work inside their mind, creating the scenes and their own words.  In this way you are able to influence your own subconscious mind with new thoughts - that's how you change habits.  So I think yes, hypnosis can be used along with the meditation methods I espouse.

Sleep

Question 1:

How can I overcome insomnia?

Sleep issues are often caused by stress and possibly other issues in your life, for example anger and fear.  The "Piece of Mind" Pack is helpful in overcoming these issues - read the book and do the exercises.  Keep practising getting to your "Peaceful Place" fast.  The tape, or CD,  "A Peaceful Place No. 12 - Making Sleep Easy & Useful" is another tool which may be helpful.

After learning the method of going to your Peaceful Place, you can do this during the day - particularly at any time that stress occurs. Then when you go to bed at night, you will have already have released some of your stress, so will not have a build up of stress just prior to going to sleep.  You can now go to your Peaceful Place whilst in bed, then tell yourself that you're going to sleep whilst in your PP.  You may need to play the tape if you start to feel too stressed to tell yourself the steps of the process of going into your Peaceful Place (especially if you haven't been able to practise during the day). 

When you've mastered getting to your PP, you could use a meditation method to take you to sleep.  This is described in my tape, or CD, "A Peaceful Place No. 12 – Making Sleep Easy and Useful", which you would use in bed, with the light off, ready to go to sleep.

Question 2:

I often wake up during the night and find it difficult to get back to sleep - any suggestions?

The main thing to do is to break the pattern of not being able to go to sleep again.  What I suggest is to get out of bed, and then commence the normal routine you use to go to sleep at night.  By this I mean, you may need to sit in front of the TV for ten minutes, or read for ten minutes, and/or to have a glass of warm milk. Then you go to bed and either just go to your PP telling yourself that you're going to have a good, sound sleep and wake up at ...... 7am (for example), or, you may need to play the tape or CD PP12 - Making Sleep Easy and Useful.  

Media

Question 1:

What if we're listening to a good news station – at some stage they're bound to come through with some bad news. How do I handle the bad news?

Yes, what you're saying is so true and bad news can be the source of negative thoughts. If you're expecting it, for example at "News Time", you could turn it off. There will always be bad news. A way of handling the bad news, to the best of your ability, is to treat it as a thought you don't want, ie. just let it go. Another thought is to just treat the news as information, ie. don't put on it the connotation of good news or bad news. Of course you can always control the TV and radio program that you tune into.  As far as newspapers are concerned, you can choose what to read or what NOT to read – you're the boss. I'd suggest to you to be very discerning.

Meditation

Question 1:

What relevance are the colours during meditation?

Colours vibrate  -  red, being the outside of the rainbow, vibrates with a much greater wavelength than orange and then orange is greater than yellow, and so on.  So when you go through the colours of the rainbow, starting from red and finishing with violet, then this is used as an induction process to take you from the Alpha brainwave state to the Theta state.  The Theta state is the meditation state.  As we go through the colours the vibration is getting finer and finer - this is what takes us deeper.

Question 2:

How do you know when you are in the meditation state?

The most common method is by not being able to feel your body.  Your mind is extremely aware and you're in total focus - you just lose the awareness of your body.  Another way that some people can tell is by their arms feeling either extremely heavy, or light - likewise their legs.  Another way that some people can tell is that they can actually feel their REM (Rapid Eye Movement).

Question 3:

How long and how often should I do the meditations from the CHI book?

Basically, the answer is that it is an individual choice.  For some people doing each meditation just the once is sufficient.  For others they feel they may like to do it a 2nd, 3rd (or more) time - especially in the area of forgiveness.   It's a good idea to do any meditation at any time that you feel the need, and to make it part of your life.

Question 4:

Is it OK for children to do meditation? And have you got any suggestions of books where we can find meditations for children?

Yes, it's fine for children to meditate.  Remember that the number of minutes that they can hold their focus is two, plus their age.  So for very young children, it would be quite a challenge to meditate for longer than five to ten minutes.  However, someone who is 13 years old could be able to meditate for twenty minutes.  Many of my meditation tapes and CDs have been used successfully  for 13 year olds.  However, if a parent wants to teach the techniques to their 7 or 8 year old, then I suggest they modify and shorten the meditation.

As to suggested books, the words to meditations are printed in each one of my books.  I have found useful the following books by Maureen Garth, published by Collins Dove-Victoria
1. Sunshine
2. Starlight
3. Moonbeam
4. The Inner Garden (Meditations For Life From 9-90).

Memory

Question 1:

Do you cover recall and memory – and, can these be improved?

Yes, absolutely – that is covered in my books and seminars and there are some exercises. The books tell you about memory and how it occurs and how you'll be able to put information into the brain whereby you'll be able to recall more easily. Our memory is fantastic – it's recall that we need to  improve and to do this we need to take the correct action to ensure that the information goes to long term memory. The main book is "Students Steps To Success" Chapter 17 - Memory.  In this chapter we summarise 22 ways of improving your memory.

Question 2:

I keep forgetting small things like my pen or business cards and I think I'm losing my memory. Can you use Alpha to assist?

When do you remember that you have forgotten something? Oh, as soon as you leave your house? Well, then do you say "Oh darn I've forgotten my keys!" (or whatever it might be)? When you're saying "forget" you're reinforcing "forget" in the subconscious mind. I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. Do you know it's not even the truth! The truth is you've just remembered your keys! If you always say, "I just remembered my keys", then what you're reinforcing in the subconscious mind is remember. "I just remembered my keys." So, change your self talk, that is really important. Positive language is very, very important. Remember self talk becomes self esteem and our self esteem becomes our self image and the way we actually act in life.

Question 3:

I am interested in the memory aspect of your program. I have tried a pegging system in the past and found it difficult. Could you explain in detail how the memory procedure works and any other relevent information?

There are many things that affect memory and there are many memory methods. On this website you can see what I believe to be the major component of memory, which is the ability to work with the subconscious mind, using a relaxation method. In my book, "Students Steps to Success" I describe in one chapter - devoted to Memory - 22 different ways of improving memory. Within the book, and within my seminars, many of these 22 different ways are actually covered.

Some specific ways to improve memory such as Memory Pegging, The Journey, and more ... are not all taught by me - however I summarise them, and give examples. I am more concerned with teaching people how to use their memory so that they can improve their study skills. One of these major methods is Mind Charting - this I do teach.

What I suggest you do is to examine the Chapter on Memory in my book "Students Steps to Success" - which you may be able to do at a bookshop, Library, or buy it from me (you can order it, at www.calm.com.au - you can also see what tapes & CDs I have at the website), go to the Chapter on Memory.

I also believe in the value of listening to Baroque Music especially selected at 60 beats to the minute - the heart then gets in time with the music and helps to bring about relaxation. I have a selection of this music on my Accelerated Learning Music CD and Tape double.

Mental Illness - Schizophrenia

Question 1:

One of my family members has recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia. We're all feeling pretty out of our depth and were wondering if you have any comments to help us?

Not being a medical person, it is difficult for me to comment. There was a wonderful film produced, not that long ago, called "A Beautiful Mind" based on the book by Sylvia Nasar. It's a true story and I believe it has almost revolutionised thinking about schizophrenia, and certainly provides a lot of hope. Hope is a "live" message.

Meditation and relaxation techniques could be useful - certainly working with improving self esteem and positive self talk would be very helpful. I have had people who are suffering from schizophrenia attend my seminars after they have received clearance from their doctor that they can do meditation. In addition I received the following communication from somebody who has experienced schizophrenia, which is encouraging:

I have had four brief episodes with the illness and for each encounter I have made a full recovery back to normal health. People who meet me now would have no idea or any inclination about my past association with schizophrenia and those who do know me even find it hard to believe that I ever suffered from such an illness considering my present well-being. Although I rely on a small dose of medication to sustain "normal" regular health, I no longer have the symptoms of the illness. Many people take certain drugs to sustain normal health, even having regular exercise sustains normal health. Having overcome this illness, the most frustrating aspect I find is still being categorised and labelled as a schizophrenic by the doctors and psychiatrists in the field of mental illness. This is very inaccurate, and I will explain why. Health and harmony is the natural state to be. Illness and discord prevents us from keeping that natural state of being, and therefore any illness, no matter what that may be, is something we are not. If we are fortunate, we may suffer for a short duration and recover. If we are unfortunate, we may suffer for a long duration and may never recover, but no matter what length of time it is upon us, we are not that illness, because it is not the natural state of health. You never hear someone who is diagnosed with cancer being called "a cancer." They are addressed as "having cancer" or "suffering from cancer." Just as when we have a cold, you do not label someone as "a cold." They are addressed as "having a cold" or "suffering from a cold." Keeping this in mind, there are many other illnesses that we label and categorize people as. Take diabetes. It would be far more accurate to say, "they have diabetes" or "they suffer from diabetes", rather than to address them as "a diabetic." I have met many people who do and have suffered from schizophrenia, but never in all my life have I ever come across "a schizophrenic." This is an issue that needs to be addressed, because for those of us who have struggled with mental illness, and now lead normal lives; being categorised as a schizophrenic (as opposed to being labelled as a diabetic) can be very offensive and demoralising to who we truly are, for there is so much prejudice and negative stigma, as mental illness is an issue that is shunned and rejected by mainstream society. First and foremost we are a Human Being who may just be struggling with, or may even have overcome, a particular illness that prevents us from normal health. Either way, we are people of equal value, just like anyone else. 

Just recently I have written a book called, "Into The Light Again." I wrote the book to provide hope for those families and individuals still caught in the illness. It gives my personal suggestions from my own experience on how to overcome this horrible nightmare of the mind. These helpful suggestions can also be found on my website UNITY at www.freeman33.com . 

Mind Charting

Question 1:

What actually are Mind Charts and how do you use them?

A Mind Chart is a representation of words done using pictures, symbols, colour and abbreviations.  It is simple and personal.  There is quite a bit more detail on Mind Charting in my book "Students Steps to Success" - an example is given in the book as to how to go about making a Mind Chart.  Mind Charts work on the premise that a picture is worth a thousand words and they use both sides of the brain for memory.  We are deliberately incorporating the Right Brain to be used in the process of memory as it is 400 to 4,000 times faster than the Left Brain.

Often when you need to write an essay in an exam, if the information needed has been summarised in a Mind Chart, it can come flowing right back at the crucial moment.  So prior to the exam you make a Mind Chart and put this somewhere where you can see it often.  In the exam, you easily recall the Mind Chart and in fact reproduce it.  Once you've done this, it is a simple matter to then write your essay.  Other uses for Mind Charting could be to make shopping lists or speeches, or to solve problems and challenges.  Mind Charts can be useful for most people (people with dyslexia have found them to be of enormous benefit, because of their difficulty with reading).

Question 2:

I can't think of the right symbols to use and I can't really draw.

As far as drawing is concerned - who cares?  Personally I use stick figures.  Provided you thought about it, it is the right symbol. If you have difficulty, try this. Close your eyes, deep breath and relax. Let your mind float back through your past and recall people you love, friends, Christmas, birthdays, parties, holidays, triumphs, pets, sport, good times. Now look at your Mind Chart words. See if you can connect any past experience, thought or emotion to any of the words. Make up a simple symbol to represent this connection and add it to the Mind Chart.

Question 3:

I've tried, but I haven't yet made Mind Charts work for me.

Mind Charts are an effective way of using your whole brain to summarise and recall important information. Sometimes new things take a while to perfect. There is no doubt, you achieve better results when you use more of your brain!! Try working in a group and bring some humour into the Mind Chart – it's often a key.

Motivation

Question 1:

How can I become motivated in my job?

There are two ways of looking at a job.  One is that it's a means to an end so that in this way you gain satisfaction in your social life and what you do after work, knowing that during work you are using this as a stepping stone towards something else in your life.

Another way to look at it is that you love your work so that you barely even regard it as a job - it's life.

Attitude is what it's really about.  You can do the most boring work in the world with a great attitude and feel good about it.  You do this with goals and knowing where it's going to lead you.  Approach every day knowing that you're going to learn something that day, perhaps meet somebody interesting or have a positive influence on someone.

Also, work with goals - that's important, and ALWAYS keep your self talk positive.

Question 2:

Can I use your techniques to become motivated?

I really think that motivation is a matter of being able to motivate yourself.  Nobody can motivate you for more than a few days - it needs to last.  Of course sometimes something inspirational to an individual can spark that motivation, and perhaps my techniques may be helpful for that.  Principally, having a goal is what brings about motivation.  Actually what is happening when you're working towards your goal, is expanding your subconscious mind with the positive success of achieving the goal.  In turn this is increasing your Comfort Zone.  You can imagine that when you have your goal in your subconscious mind, you in fact will be feeling much, much better and motivation will flow.

Music

Question 1:

I've heard that Baroque Music is useful for study and relaxation - could you please tell me more about this?

Science has now shown that our heartbeat tends to get in time with the music and thus we, in turn, relax and reach the alpha brainwave state.  When we relax the Reticular Activating Filter is open and therefore information flows straight through to memory which is in the subconscious mind.  That's why specially selected Baroque Music  (with a timing of 60 beats per minute) is good for meditation and releasing stress, accelerated learning techniques such as Lazanov's Passive Concert, and for guided imagery and creativity.  Use it as a background music for studying - from mathematics to languages, or at work.  Relaxation increases productivity.

Question 2: 

My son plays loud modern music when he's studying - any comments please?

When music is fast and varies its timing, then the heart will follow suit.  Thus the Reticular Activating Filter will remain closed allowing little information to flow through into memory.  This is an ineffective form of study, as it will take much longer to absorb the material.

Question 3:

I find background baroque music distracting. What shall I do?

You are not supposed to listen to the music whilst it's in the background - your heart "listens" to it.  My initial thought would be to turn down the volume.  If you cannot eventually adjust to this background music, then turn it off – it's not an absolute essential.

Negative People

Question 1:

How about negative people – any tips on how to handle them?

When you come in contact with negative people, one good thing to do is just send out good thought waves, send out love for instance (silently in your mind). Remember, whatever you give out, you get back. So if you want love or good relationships and good thoughts then send out love or good relationships or good thoughts. Many people often use negative language and that's fine; some may not know the importance of being more constructive. You just do your own thing, being positive and constructive.  Above all use the PP techniques and remain calm.

Question 2:

Often the group of people I'm mixing with use negative language - does this have any effect on me?

Repetition can have an effect because it can go into memory.  If you experience a lot of emotion during the time you hear negative language then it goes straight into memory.  So yes, the answer is that it does effect you - negatively.  One thing you could do is increase your own self esteem by moving away from this group of people.  A way to remain positive when negative language is around you is to actually correct it immediately inside your own mind - in this way you are actually putting up a barrier between the negative language that you hear and what you're allowing in to your subconscious mind.

Question 3:

Some of my family are not believing in the process I'm taking to work towards healing - any advice?

Dr Bernie Siegel in the movie "Leap of Faith", advised his group of people who were working with a life-threatening illness, to surround themselves with supportive people.  If that meant excluding some members of their own family, then so be it.  Remember it's the people who are close to you that you will actually take more notice of, so to protect yourself during this taxing time you may need to completely cut yourself from negative people, even if they happen to be a family member.  I'm sorry if this seems to be quite harsh, but when you have recovered, then normal relations can resume.    

Negative Self Talk

Question 1:

What are your suggestions for handling repeated negative self talk?

The first thing is to acknowledge the thought, and congratulate yourself for becoming aware of the issue.  If you were not aware of the issue then you couldn't do anything about it.  I actually twist that famous philosopher Aristotles' words a little to be - when you recognise a challenge (negative self talk), then you're half way through the challenge.  The next step is to decide whether you're going to do something about it or not.  If you choose yes, then you're 75% of the way through the challenge.  The last bit is doing it.  And the techniques that I espouse will teach you how to "do it".

What you need to do is to let the thought go.  My wife Sandra, just lets out a big breath, blowing the thought away from her.  In my seminars, I suggest letting the thought out through the top of your head and then watch it going up and away from you - or onto an escalator that is going away from you.

Or, replace the negative thought by saying your new habit (or goal)  immediately.

Question 2:

I get so angry with myself when I recognise my negative self talk.  Any suggestions?

It's always best to be kind to yourself.  Here's an analogy of how you would expand the comfort zone (subconscious mind) of a 3 year old who didn't want to learn to swim.  How do you teach the 3 year old to swim?  First of all, all your talk is encouraging and supportive.  You probably hug the 3 year old, as you walk into a swimming pool.  The first lesson might well be just experiencing the water, as you hold the child tight.  The next time you take it into the water, you probably get it to let go an arm and splash the top of the water - have a little fun.  The next time, the child is probably wearing a bubble and water wings, and you're still holding them while they see that the bubble and the wings keep them up.  The next lesson may well be letting go the hands of the child, as they realise that water is good fun.  It won't be long before the child is jumping into the pool.  All that you've done here is gradually expand the comfort zone of the child, as you give supportive, encouraging talk, congratulating them all the way.

That's the way you need to talk to yourself, so as you become aware of your negative talk, you congratulate yourself, and then you change it, saying the positive self talk, and then encourage yourself with positive self talk saying that every day, and in every way, you are getting more and more positive.

Question 3:

How do I overcome recurring negative and limiting thought patterns?

It's always best to talk to yourself as though supporting a 3-year-old and get rid of unwanted thoughts by using the methods of "letting them go", as described in the above two answers.  If you find this negative self talk is really persistent, then besides working with a goal of saying that you are a wonderful, positive person, you could make your own meditation tape.  You would need to write the words down that would specifically address the issues which are emerging, using personal, positive and present tense language.  The meditative state takes you down into the Theta state, and this whole process will probably take about 15-20 minutes.  It's a good way of changing habits in the subconscious mind.

An additional way is to write out in colour, positive statements about yourself and put them in prominent places around your home or working area (as long as it is private).  This can be very reinforcing in a visual way.

Pain Release

Question 1:

Which would be the better state in which to control pain?

The Theta state is a better state to use for controlling pain, but it can also be done in the Alpha state. Care must be taken with use of language, because pain is a signal that something is wrong with our body; it is necessary to find out what causes that pain. It's the hurt that is in the pain that can be released.  My tape or CD PP3 - Releasing Hurt, is a meditation which goes for about 20 minutes.  This meditation takes us down into the Theta state where then the Guided Imagery steers us through releasing the hurt out through the top of the head, and then bringing in a healing colour to settle in and around the area of the pain.

Peaceful Place

Question 1:

What is the purpose of rolling my eyes up and down as part of the 'Peaceful Place' process?

When we sleep at night our eyes roll upwards. The little technique of rolling back the eyes is to "trick" the subconscious mind into thinking you're going off to sleep (because the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality) and therefore the subconscious mind starts the process of  sleep.  To get to the sleep state we start off in the Beta brainwave state , then relax into the Alpha state, down deeper into the Theta state and then into the Delta sleep state. The conscious mind then comes in and says "we're just going to Alpha".  This method does not necessarily work for everyone - in fact in some cases it can be a distraction and therefore it may work in reverse -  if this is the case for you then just don't do it.  It's by no means a "must".

Question 2:

I am having trouble finding a relaxing place for my PP, and actually building it.  What can I do?

Have you ever just sat and daydreamed about doing something that you really like to do?  Maybe like fishing, surfing, swimming, skiing, mountain-climbing, etc...  If you can bring that to mind then that can be just as good.  In other words, what I am saying is work with reality.  Know this, if you can go to sleep at night then it means that you actually are going through the Alpha state (the PP state) in the process of sleep so you really are doing it automatically and now you need to teach youself to do it deliberately.

My first suggestion is to read the "Piece of Mind" book from cover to cover, including just reading through all the words of the Guided Imageries.  Then, and only then, work with reality in using the tape PP2 - Guided Imagery - even if the reality peaceful place that comes up for you is one that occurred as a child.

Question 3:

How can I practise my Peaceful Place 20 times a day if I am at work all day? Do I need to use the music?

No, you do not need the music.  I am assuming that you have built your PP, been there in 3 minutes and that you have practised porpoising - now you want to make PP a habit. At work there are many places to practise, some of them can be really useful too - places like:  just before you make or just after you have made a telephone call, at your computer, before or during a meeting, before you interview someone, as you switch focus to a new task, at any break (including the toilet) - are you getting the idea? The main thing to work on is a number of ways that you can remind yourself to do it.

Question 4:

How can I remind myself to go to my Peaceful Place?

It really is important to develop and use your Peaceful Place (PP) often.  There are many reminder methods to do the 30 second practice of going to your PP and these include:

* Putting your watch on the other arm

* Wearing your watch upside down

* Putting a sticker on your watch so that it's difficult to read

* Putting Stickers in every place that you can think of where you've got 30 seconds to do your PP, eg. the bathroom mirror, inside the shower, on your toothbrush, on the Mute button of the TV control, on a special cup or glass that you drink out of, on your refrigerator, etc...

* Using a bookmark with PP written on it

* Using a message, screen saver or alarm on your computer

* Putting something like a little furry animal on your keyring (so that you feel it) - think of where this can be useful ... before you drive away in your car, before you get out of your car, as you arrive home and put the key in the front door, etc...

* Using jewellery, eg. getting a new ring, changing a ring from one finger to another finger, wearing a bracelet, etc...

* Using a diary

* Putting coins in your pocket

You see, what we're trying to do with all these different reminder methods is to create some sort of interrupt pattern within our consciousness so that it reminds us to immediately go to PP.  Remember, the job of the subconscious mind is to keep you where you are now, so you see it will keep on creating doubt and indeed it doesn't want the new habit of being able to relax and release stress whenever you want.  It (the subconscious mind) only wants what it's got ... not what it has not got.  So the job of the conscious mind is to get the new habit into the subconscious mind, and it's this conscious mind that needs reminding to do it.

Question 5:

I'm not getting to my Peaceful Place when I'm stressed. How do I do it?

Two ways. You need to take longer in the early stages, i.e. before alpha is a habit; so go into your relaxed place, through the pathway to your Peaceful Place. The second way is to play yourself the tape (Peaceful Place 2). Gradually as you practise then you will find it easier to go to PP faster. Why? Because your stress levels will gradually come down.

Question 6:

My negative emotions invade me in my Peaceful Place – what can I do about it?

Negative emotion can often tend to dominate our thought processes, acting like a protection mechanism, e.g. "… this is what happened before…" Treat the negative emotion just like invading thoughts. You have power over it (the thought) so just let it go – in one ear and out the other, or attach them to a never ending escalator, or, put them in a plane flying overhead. You must actually do this in your mind over and over again until it goes.

Question 7:

What can I do when kids come into the room when I'm in my PP and "shock" me out of it - sometimes I feel dizzy?

Go back into your PP and then slowly come back out by counting from 1 to 5.

Question 8:

I'm having trouble with my PP. Every time I go into it I find I have to re-arrange the furniture because there's always new stuff there that wasn't there before. What can I do? It's driving me mad.

Add a new, empty room with nothing but a chair and a window looking over the ocean and then go through the old room into this new one. You can have as many rooms as you want in your "castle" - a music room, goal room, ability room, presenting room, sports room and many more!!

Question 9:

I find it hard to get into my PP when angry or stressed. How do you get the PP to be automatic?

By repetition and practice, by signs around the house to remind you to practise, by playing baroque music, by moving coins from one pocket to another to remind yourself of the number of times you have practised PP in one day. Only after you have made PP a habit can you then easily and quickly get there at challenging times.

Question 10:

What do I do when someone is in my PP that I don't want to be there and they keep coming back?

If the person intrudes ask them what they want and tell them that they have come in uninvited. Ask them to leave. If the intruder persists then you may need to build yourself another PP. However, if you want to invite someone in to your PP then remember to build yourself a separate entrance through which you can invite visitors.

Question 11:

When I go to my Peaceful Place and start imagining my goal coming true, my Peaceful Place disappears. Is this OK? What can I do about it?

It's perfect for you that your Peaceful Place disappears. It means you are really living your goal coming true and have put yourself into that situation and place – wherever that may be. If for instance you're imagining yourself winning a major tennis tournament and you can feel yourself standing on the courts and see the person you're playing over the net down the other end of the court, and hear the crowd cheering when you do a winning shot – that's great. Use your Emotional Anchor and pat yourself on the back.

Some people practise achieving their goal in a magical learning room, or performance stage, or workspace that is attached to their Peaceful Place. That's fine too – whatever works for you is perfect.

Question 12:

When you're actually in Alpha and Theta, can you tell, and how do you know?

Yes, you can tell and one way is for someone else to observe your rapid eye movement (REM). Sometimes you can feel your own REM. You will know when you're in the Theta state because you actually do not feel your body (it's as though it's numb) yet you have total control and your mind is extremely lucid. The other mechanical way is by measuring your brain waves with the electro-encephalograph (or other devices designed for this purpose).

Question 13:

I try so hard to get to my Peaceful Place – can you give me another tip?

Let me first mention what "trying" means. Do you know that to try implies failure. Think of the action another way, either do it or don't do it, but don't "try" to do it. "Trying", to the subconscious mind, implies failure. Now for the tip: when you're anxious, go to your Peaceful Place through your relaxed place and then your magic pathway. You can do it very quickly. Another tip, start to go to your Peaceful Place after you have taken three deep breaths, saying the word "relax" as you breathe out.

Question 14:

When I go to my Peaceful Place I feel my eyes flickering, which can be distracting – is this normal?

It's normal, but not many people have got such a great signal to tell them they are in Alpha. The flickering is the REM state (some people may want to feel it and you can do that by concentrating on your eyes). If it distracts you then let it be OK inside your mind and treat the information "my eyes are flickering" as a thought. Let the thought in and then let it out.

Question 15:

I'm not visual at all and therefore I don't think I have a Peaceful Place. What should I do?

I personally do not see anything in my Peaceful Place, at least not the same way I see in a dream. Many people do see it clearly, but mine just "looks like" a black hole. I imagine that I see my Peaceful Place and when I sit down in my chair I feel a wave of relaxation go through my body and that's my signal. Other people may hear wind or the sea when they get to their Peaceful Place. Keep practicing, knowing that when you imagine you're checking out your Peaceful Place, you are then in Alpha. You may develop a signal, which can be the first sense that comes to you, which tells you for sure that you're in you Peaceful Place.

Question 16:

Can I get to my Peaceful Place when I'm stressed? How do I do it?

Two ways. You need to take longer in the early stages, ie. before Alpha is a habit; so go into your relaxed place, through the pathway to your Peaceful Place. The second way is to actually start with meditation - I recommend my tape or CD PP5 - Meditation.

Question 17:

I'm struggling between two Peaceful Places. How do I choose the right one?

Build it again. Use the tape A Peaceful Place No. 2 (Guided Imagery) side one. Whichever is dominant will come in to your mind first. If the other one comes in, ask yourself which Peaceful Place is best for you and then go with your intuition. If the second Peaceful Place is still around then treat it as a thought and just imagine that the thought goes out (in fact you are taking control of the thought). Another thing that you can do is to combine the two PPs - you can, for instace put the beach on the mountain top - it doesn't have to be real.

Question 18:

What about people in my Peaceful Place? How do I "use" them or how do I let them go?

You must take control of the situation in your Peaceful Place. If you want people in or out you invite them in; you tell them to come in and stay, or to go out. If they persist and won't go, then build yourself another Peaceful Place. You can bring people in and seek their assistance and guidance by asking them questions. Try it, you'll find the power amazing.

Question 19:

Why do I need to go to my Peaceful Place twenty times a day for a month?

Because you are building a neural pathway to your Peaceful Place. The more often you do it, the faster you will get there (a couple of seconds) and the action of going there becomes automatic: as automatic as driving a car (you don't think about how to drive any more – it just happens).

Question 20:

When I am in my Peaceful Place and I get distracted in my mind, what do I do to get focused?

Sometimes your mind wanders for instance when you're letting go of a thought by attaching it to an aeroplane, you can end up in the plane. Not only that, you might end up in Bali where the plane lands. As soon as you catch yourself out and notice that your mind is wandering, just tell yourself "come on back to my Peaceful Place and sit in the chair". It works for me and I'm sure it can work for you. Remember the purpose of PP is to open the filter - so that you can get to your subconscious mind - so that you can work with memory or habits or creativity - or healing and ........ more

Question 21:

If I want to just use the Peaceful Place for releasing stress, what do I do?

When you have got to your Peaceful Place, then relaxation and releasing stress are automatic. You really only need to keep getting to your PP and stay there for a few seconds. If you have a particular event that causes the stress then you could treat the action of getting through that event without increasing stress, the same way as you would a goal. Remember you can always use meditation.

Question 22:

I saw my Peaceful Place and got to it the first time. Now, as much as I try, I don't see it. Is it important to see it?

The short answer is – no. The thing to do is remain calm and imagine that you are seeing your Peaceful Place. Check it out in your mind. If you keep trying (remember that implies failure) your level of anxiety increases and it's not important to see, so just imagine that you are seeing it or checking it out.

Question 23:

After being in Alpha and opening your eyes is there any other reinforcing action that can be taken?

When I come back from one to five and open my eyes I always say "I'm relaxed, well, healthy and invigorated". I just use those four words. I use it often in my seminars and would encourage you to do something similar. In fact you create another good positive habit every time you use those words.

Peaceful Place - Sabotage

Question 1:

I can't get to my Peaceful Place any more because when I sit on the beach and look out to the sea there is a big brick wall built right along the beach which prevents me from seeing the sailing boat with two red sails.  What do I do?

Recognise that what the subconscious mind is doing here is "keeping you where you are now", which of course is its job.  In other words, what it's attempting to do is to sabotage you from being able to get to your Peaceful Place because it doesn't want the new habit of being able to relax and release stress in less than 30 seconds.  The next time you go to your Peaceful Place, go down to the brick wall and punch a hole in the wall, and put a window in it.  Then come back to your spot on the beach, look through the window, and see what happens.

(Note from Sandy - This was an actual experience and I got a call back saying that as soon as he looked through the window, he saw the boat with the two red sails, and then the brick wall disappeared.)

When I do seminars I always tell the above story, and one day I got a telephone call from a 16 year old girl saying - "My Peaceful Place is totally destroyed.  It's a cave, up in a mountain, and I've done it out like my house.  My focal point for my Peaceful Place is my bed.  My bed collapsed, and I thought back to the story about the man and the brick wall across the beach.  So I decided, not to worry, I'll build a stronger bed.  The steel bed collapsed.  Not to worry, I sat on a carpet on the floor.  The carpet flew out the window.  I thought I'd give it one more try so I sat in front of the fire, but the fire spat at me.  Now what do I do?"

This was a special case.  I asked the young lady, what was her journey to her Peaceful Place.  She had a wonderful imagination, and described how she used to line herself up in front of a hill where she could just see the windows of the cave up in the mountain and then she pressed a secret stone key, and the mountain opened up.  She went in to the mountain and it was like Disneyland, and she got on to one of the rides, with the music going, loving every moment of it, and this ride took her all the way to the back of her Peaceful Place.  I said - stop there.  What I want you to do is to make your new Peaceful Place focal point the chair of your musical ride.  Just to explain why this will be okay - I have measured many people on the electro-encephalograph and most of them are in the Alpha brainwave state as soon as they start their journey towards their Peaceful Place.  With your imagination, I'm sure that you'll be in the Alpha state as soon as you start your journey on your ride.  Remember, the purpose of Peaceful Place is to get you to Alpha, so that you open the filter, so that you can get back to memory and habits.

Question 2:

I (Sandy) got a phone call from a doctor who had attended my seminar. The doctor wanted to be accompanied by her psychologist as she tested herself on the electro-encephalograph because she couldn't get to her Peaceful Place.  I anticipated that she was being sabotaged.

What was really interesting was that the electro-encephalograph showed that the lady was getting to Alpha in her Peaceful Place, but she only stayed there for about 2 seconds.  I pointed this out to her and asked her to tell me about her journey to the Peaceful Place and her actual Peaceful Place.  She described how she was carefully going up a mountain side, and then peering over the top into a secret hidden valley.  This was set in the United States, and the valley was occupied by Indians.  It was really lovely - there were buffalo, tepees, and corn growing.  She said that when she peered over the top and looked into the valley that everything had changed - the tepees weren't where they were before, the buffalos had moved, the corn had moved, and it wasn't as orderly.  Her statement to herself was "It's changed - I'm not there" and she was quite annoyed.  When you get annoyed, you're out of Alpha, and this explained why she was getting to Alpha just for a couple of seconds, and then she was totally back into Beta.  I suggested that she allow the tepees to move, to allow the buffalos to move, to allow the crops to be rotated and be in a different area, and to make that okay, because really and truly, this is nature.  She tried again, got to the top, peered over the edge, and stayed in her Peaceful Place.

Question 3:

Here's another example of sabotage, which occurred in a seminar.  There was a gentleman who was about 70 years old, and loved horses.  He's the original horse whisperer!  He could get on the back of any horse in half an hour, and he described himself as a horse psychologist.  Here's what happened.

You can guess where the focal point of his Peaceful Place was - in the saddle, on a horse!  When we were doing the Peaceful Place exercise, I noticed that this man opened his eyes with a startled gesture of his arms and legs.  I asked him why, and got the answer that, he was in his Peaceful Place and the horse started to gallop, and it galloped towards a 6m high barbed wire entanglement.  He didn't want the horse to get into the barbed wire, so he came out of his Peaceful Place.  I suggested that the horse could jump the wire, and he said that's not possible.  I inferred that anything is possible in Peaceful Place - people can fly to their focal point, so why shouldn't a horse grow wings and jump over the fence?  He gave it another try, and everything was fine.  I think this is just a further example of how the subconscious mind can sabotage us.  In other words, try to prevent us from getting to our Peaceful Place, and making the new habit of Peaceful Place.

Public Speaking

Question 1:

I get VERY nervous when speaking to a group of people. I am attending Toastmasters which I love - however I realise that my problem is nerves in front of people I know - I could address a
large crowd of strangers with no trouble at all - but even a small group of people I know makes me physically shake so much I cannot hold a pen - and my heart beat so hard I can hardly breathe. I am WORSE after several months at Toastmasters - at first I loved it but now I have got to know them all and am more anxious to perform well my nerves are worse!! I am naturally very outgoing - have no trouble talking to anyone and happy to go up to strangers at parties and chat etc - so what's wrong with me?? I guess I am just so concerned about performing well in front of people who matter to me that it causes the problem. I tell myself to "get a grip" and I know they will think better of me and enjoy my talks more if I am NOT nervous - but It seems to be an automatic physical reaction that I cannot control mentally. I would love to buy one or several of your tapes that might help me - could you please recommend which one/ones you think most appropriate? Many many thanks.

Thank you for sharing with me your feelings about "public speaking" to small well-known groups - believe me, this is very common - you are certainly not alone.

I would certainly encourage you to continue with Toastmasters - they are a fine organisation and with more and more exposure, practice and facing this issue - you will eventually come through. Do you practise going to your "Peaceful Place" and doing visualisation? If so, then in your visualisation just picture yourself having really delivered a great talk and being congratulated for it. Creating a Mind Chart about what you will talk about is a good idea too - the pictures will stick in your mind and you'll easily be able to recall them when giving your speech.

My tape / CD PP15 - Overcoming Fear may be helpful to you (you can check it out on my website) and I have a paper on my site about handling fear which you may like to read.

Relationships

Question 1:

How can I cope with the many issues surrounding my separation and divorce?

Separation (divorce) is probably one of the hardest thing in life to deal with.  One of the main issues with this is that we're always looking outside ourselves for love (this could mean lack of self esteem, lack of self love, etc...).  Have you heard the saying that you need to give out more of what you want in your life, for example ... "If you want 'more love in your life', then you need to give out more love".  Now you can't give out something unless you've got it to give - so how do you do that?  We need to love ourselves so much that we don't have the need to look outside ourselves for love.  My thought is that partnership will come when we ourselves are ready for it.  And obviously I recognise that we all want it in some way or another.  So what does loving oneself really mean?  It is in fact taking responsibility for ourselves in every way from the way we talk to ourselves, to the food we eat, to the books we read and the TV/movies we watch, to making sure our stress levels are under control - I'm sure you get the picture.   (See page 33 of the book "Student Steps To Success" for quite a list.) If you are aware of these issues, you are already 50% of the way there.  The next 25% is having the desire to do something about it, and the final 25% is actually doing something, which is where some of my work will be of value, especially reading "Piece of Mind" and  working  with goals, remember to ALWAYS keep your self talk positive.

I know that issues involving hatred, anger, guilt, revenge and ............. more may come up for you. Work with whatever comes up - do not push it down! The main way forward is with acceptance, cooperation, unconditional love and forgiveness. Specific meditations are probably the best way - Letting Go Anger (PP9), Inner Peace and Harmony (PP13), Self Worth and Confidence (PP10) and forgiveness (PP6) plus the book "Switch On To Your Inner Strength."

Question: 2

Will your Relationships Tape assist with problems between my husband and myself?

Let me ask you a question first - does both you and your husband want to work towards staying together harmoniously? If the answer is "yes" then the meditation Improving Relationships PP14 (Tape or CD) will definitely assist. There are two exercises to do in the meditation (that you do together - after the meditation) - please do them they are very helpful.

Question 3:

I have been doing creative visualization for the last 5 months very seriously, for finding the kind of partner I would like. I started by imagining a face, which is based on my memory of a person who worked in the same organisation as I did. That's where I am having difficulty.
1. I find it difficult to visualize without him. Should I take this man as my spirtual guide? After all he is the one who leads me to experience the strong feelings of love and joy. 
2. What is the right way to visualize for ideal mate? How wrong is it to imagine a specific face? 

I would suggest that it is NOT a good idea to visualise a specific person's face .... what if you eventually came together with that "face" and all the qualities of goodness, etc... that you wanted were not present. If this face continually comes up for you then consider it to be somebody like a "Guide" and ask for them to help you for the highest good of all concerned.

If you really want to focus on an ideal partner coming to you then first of all, write down all the qualities you want in a partner, including their personality, interests, values, education, etc.... When you have this list, focus on it in your meditation and ask for this ideal person to come into your life in some way or another. When this person does come into your life then you will be able to recognise that this is a possibility of being your ideal partner, because you will recognise qualities that you have "asked for". You could do this in a meditation for a short time each day and ask for the highest good of all concerned that this person comes to you - then let it go and get on with your main meditation.

You may be helped by reading my book "Piece of Mind" (which is also available at most libraries - you can read about it on this website) 

Releasing Stress

Question 1:

Some days I've found myself at high levels of stress without realising it was happening, and I find the 30 second technique is not enough to release it. What can I do?

If you find yourself at a very high level of stress (anxiety) it will take longer – maybe 10 to 20 minutes – to bring yourself down to desired levels. A meditation will really help (PP5 - Meditation)  If you find yourself already well above your stress limit, start using porpoising (going in and out of your Peaceful Place quickly) immediately to stabilise the level until you can get the 10 to 20 minutes you need to bring your stresses back down. If you suspect the day may be a tough one, start using the 30 second technique early on so the level doesn't get a chance to climb! Every time you go to your PP you release a little bit of stress - and that releasing is cumulative.

Releasing Weight

Question 1:

My goal is to release weight, but I feel that my eating (too much) and exercising (not enough) habits are what caused my extra weight in the first place. Should changing those things be my goals instead of "weight release"?

Keep doing your long term weight release goal – being well worded - using positive, personal language and a realistic time frame. The changing of the other habits – amounts eaten and time exercising – can be incorporated into the visualisation/imaging part of the exercise, eg. Imaging yourself leaving food on the side of the plate; standing on the scales weighing ...… ; enjoying a brisk walk in the mornings; wearing the new outfit. I recommend you do the weight release goal 5 times a day really use your imagination and visualisation achieving your goal. 2 to 3 times a day do the tape or CD PP8 Releasing Weight which incorporates real habit changes. Don't force yourself to do exercise - what will happen as you do the goal will be that you want to exercise each day.  The same thing happens with food intake - it will get less.

Question 2:

I recently spoke to you regarding difficulties I was having during meditation. I started the weight release program two weeks ago weighing 70kgs and as of today have not released any weight. I have been meditating twice daily ( find it hard to fit three in every day). Whilst seeing myself at my ideal weight I definitely feel the emotion of how wonderful it is to be at my ideal weight. I also apply my anchor (word) at the height of these emotions. I am still having trouble sitting still and have a tendency to lose focus. Could this be the reason for no results? I also have your books and have read them. I would really appreciate some advise as to what I'm doing (right or wrong). This weight problem I have has always been a huge issue for me. I am sure it is a form of protection I felt I have needed since I was nine years of age (which was when sexual abuse commenced). Hence my anchor word is SECURE. While I have done a lot of work with this problem and am at good place with my past, I have to wonder whether this is still holding me back and not allowing me to release the need to protect myself. I would value your thoughts on this matter. 

I think you have a lot of awareness and insight to the main issue that would definitely be contributing to the weight you carry right now. It is a known fact that people use "weight" to protect themselves. In fact, I believe you may be perpetuating this, by using the word "secure" when you're talking about your Emotional Anchor. In other words, every time you use your Anchor, you are in fact reminding yourself of the issue that happened when you were 9 years old. It is important to move on from this. 

One of the things that I really believe is that you need to Congratulate yourself about the fact that you really have come to the awareness that weight is not the issue (although it's the end result), it's most probably the CAUSE of the weight - protection - from your childhood trauma.

Now, how to overcome the CAUSE of the weight. I really believe that if there is any anger, hatred, hostility, resentment, blame, revenge ... and more ... within this matter, that these are the ones that need to be addressed. Generally speaking I recommend the processes of Acceptance, Co-operation, Unconditional Love, and Forgiveness. These are precisely the steps that I used myself. All these issues need to be addressed in meditation. You have already read the book "Switch On to Your Inner Strength" and this is the book where I discuss these sorts of issues. My tapes (and now CDs), such as "Letting Go Anger", "Forgiveness", "Inner Peace & Harmony" can be very helpful. Together with this, it is really important that you examine your self-talk and the way you think about these issues. Remember, negative thoughts attract negative thoughts.

I have discussed with you on the telephone, the thoughts that may come up for you whilst you're eating, for example, always sitting down when you're eating, putting your knife & fork down between each mouthful, chewing until the food is liquid, when you don't serve yourself - leaving a little bit on the plate (smile when you think of the familiar saying - "to feed the hungry millions in the World"). Remember to increase your metabolic rate by "turning down" your hypothalimus gland - by visualisation, in meditation. If most of the above thoughts are current in your mind, then take note of them, and do them. In addition, you can now look at what you feed yourself (cutting down on fats and excess sugars and carbohydrates) and increasing your exercise. Even committing to half an hours walking each day will help. Keep up this regimen and it will work. Keep doing this, while you address the trauma in your life. If you're able to attend one my seminars I think it could be really helpful.

Question 3:

I have an extremely busy schedule - am often stressed and feel angry, and I know that I don't like myself. I am reading "Piece Of Mind" and am just beginning to realise that my weight issue could be caused through my lack of self esteem. Any hope for me? Could you suggest a program?

Of course there is hope - you are the one identifying the issues and that's the beginning. As you said the  weight gain may be caused by a self esteem issue plus stress and perhaps anger or frustration.  With your busy schedule are you watching the sorts of things you're eating and having time for a regular exercise regime? Daily walking is a good idea.

A possible program I could suggest for you would be: 

1. You already have "Piece of Mind" book so read the book and do the exercises. Keep practising getting to your "Peaceful Place" fast (which of course is explained in the book). Do you have a clear Peaceful Place? Consistency and making time for yourself is important.

2. Buy the tape "A Peaceful Place No. 8 - Weight Release" - Do side 1 of this tape and then do side 2 every day (you will be doing side 2 of this tape whilst you are reading and doing the exercises from Piece of Mind - my guess is that you would do this for about a month and use side 2 of this tape 3 times a day for a month and then only once a day.

3. It is important to clarify the self esteem issue - identify it - and work with it. Please call me so that we can chat before I suggest what you do.

I have not addressed relaxation - as of course this will come automatically by using the tapes.

Self Confidence

Question 1:

My self-confidence is extremely low, and I have no motivation to work at it. How can I overcome this?

What I believe is that when you recognise a life challenge, or issue which is holding you back, then you're 50% of the way through the challenge.  The next 25% is saying - Yes, I want to do something about it.  So, by simply recognising a challenge and wanting to overcome it, you are already 75% of
the way there.  The remaining 25% is doing it - that's what my methods help with.

As to motivation - work with goals (refer to motivation questions and answers above).

Read and do the exercises in my book "Piece of Mind" - I recommend the book and the tape pack.

The next step is to come to my 2-day CALM Life Skills seminar (if you don't do the seminar then you need the CALM Kit plus the book "Switch on to Your Inner Strength", plus the Peaceful Place Tape (or CD)  Collection).

Smoking

Question 1:

What self-talk or goal should I use to quit smoking?

One thing not to say is "I don't smoke", because to your subconscious mind, that means "I smoke - give me a cigarette".  What you could picture is a scene of you having a cigarette but feeling ill and vomiting because the cigarette tastes awful.  Another way is to picture a scene where you normally have a cigarette and in that scene see yourself not having that cigarette.  You see yourself congratulating yourself and saying "Well done" to yourself every time you don't have a cigarette.  If you start hankering after a cigarette, then remind yourself what it tastes like.

It's also very important to work with goals.  A good goal is "I have healthy lungs and clean breath".

Question 2:

Please help - I want to quit smoking!

Most of the information you require is in my book "Piece of Mind". It is really important to have a good understanding of how the brain works - so don't just skip the book and get to the part on quitting smoking. I have copied below a segment on this topic from Page 187. 

Quit Smoking Imagery. Quitting smoking is a good one but quite a difficult one for me because I've never smoked. There are two ways that one can go about this, either cold turkey or just a little bit at a time. I suggest that you do it a little bit at a time. So if you smoke 20 cigarettes a day then you need to come down to 15 and then to 10 and then to 5 and then to 1 and then to none. Remember, one thing not to say is: "I don't smoke", because what does that mean to your subconscious mind? It means: "I smoke, give me a cigarette". What you could picture is a scene of you having a cigarette, but feeling ill and vomiting because the cigarette tastes like .......... (the worst thing you can think of). Another way is to picture a scene where you normally have a cigarette and in that scene see yourself not having that cigarette. You see yourself congratulating yourself and saying "Well done" to yourself every time you don't have a cigarette. If you start hankering after a cigarette, then remind yourself what it tastes like. A good goal is "I have healthy lungs and a clean breath."

What you need to do now is to practise imagery or visualisation. The task is to know what scenes (or imagery) are right for you to represent the success of your aim or goal. You can do this in any way that you want. Take about five minutes and get that feeling, get that scene. I suggest that you use my tape A Peaceful Place No. 1 (Instrumental), with the Infinite Joy music. You could of course play the baroque music tapes. You could if you wish go to your Peaceful Place inside your mind and ask yourself for the imagery.

It is now important for you to continue to do your goal (using the 8 steps of getting goals faster), say 5 times a day. Go back to the section in the book on Setting Goals and write down your goal in Positive, Personal, Present Tense language. To expand what I have said above, it could be "I have healthy lungs, a fresh breath, and save money". Note that the word "smoke" is not mentioned in the wording of the goal. What we're trying to do here is establish a new habit of not smoking. You will always remember that you smoked before, and that's OK, because you can now congratulation yourself on not smoking.

There is no doubt that the stop smoking goal is quite a challenge to achieve - so Good Luck.

Study and School

Question 1:

How can I help my child to learn better?

If you can, then make it as enjoyable as possible for your  child to attend school .  Extra curricular activities that they really enjoy and look forward to are also important.   And it's always good to focus on and praise the things that they are really good at.  The ability to relax and release stress - even for a child - is a very helpful "tool" in study and coping skills.  You can work through the techniques outlined in the books "Piece of Mind" and "Students Steps to Success" with children under 13 years old, and this will be very helpful, especially the "Peaceful Place" technique, Goals and Self Esteem.

Question 2:

Are Peaceful Place techniques suitable for children?

What I usually suggest is that the parents learn the techniques so that they can pass it on to their children - they are really easy and useful, however children usually do not have an attention span of 20 minutes and that's why they need to build their PP faster than adults (in say about 7 - 10 minutes.)

Question 3:

In an exam – how do I use alpha for remembering the answer when I get stuck?

Go to your Peaceful Place – ask yourself the question- see yourself getting the answer with a tick next to it – then go on with the next question. You will find the answer suddenly comes to you whilst doing another question.

Question 4:

During study how do I get back to or keep focused  when my mind wanders?

Remember that your attention span is seldom more than 20 minutes - often, especially when you are studying something that you don't enjoy it could be far less. So get up from your desk, get a glass of water, maybe do your cross over exercises and then go back to your PP (with your baroque music playing in the background) and then count yourself out to 1, 2, 3 to return to move on with your study. When you are in your PP you could tell yourself that you like the subject and that you are enjoying  finding out something about the subject you're studying. When it happens again then do the same process again - after that study something else. In other words study the subject that you like least in short bursts.

Question 5:

How do I handle exam stress?

The main way is to physically see yourself going through this test or exam inside your mind. See how well you are doing it, feel good about it, even look at the mark that you're going to obtain. Just notice all that and then emotionalise it. When you actually do the exam your subconscious mind has done it so often before that it's a habit. What has happened is that you have extended your comfort zone to include the exam. You are really utilising the fact that the subconscious mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality. If you feel uptight before an exam another thing to do is to breathe. Just take a deep breath because when you take a deep breath you're letting oxygen in and you will relax. Also remember throughout the year when you're learning the information, it helps to study in Alpha. You can also do the meditation PP11 - Achieving in Exams and Effective Study.

Question 6:

I'm writing in reference to my daughter, who is entering her last year at secondary school next year. You did mention one of your success stories was motivating a student to achieve her best in her final year....... and while she is a good and responsible teenager and a lot of fun to be with......... she has not had a good year academically this year and I think this has dented her confidence and given her a negative attitude to her studies. Any suggestions for motivation?

Thank you for your e-mail. Many, many people have identical issues as your daughter and will never get their motivation from a book at this stage in their lives.

I note what you've said and am familiar with the issues you speak about. I really think that motivation is a matter of being able to motivate yourself. Actually, nobody can motivate you for more than a few days. If you do it yourself it will last. Of course sometimes something inspirational to an individual can spark that motivation - to this end I would ask you to show your daughter my website www.calm.com.au and go to the links on the left hand side whereby she can read the stories of some people who have succeeded in the area of learning, study and self confidence. Talk to her about her goal. It really is working towards the goal that will provide the motivation.

Question 7:

How do I easily learn those "boring" subjects?

By changing your attitude and making them interesting!! A way to get interested in a boring subject is to figure out why you will need it later in your life. I call this "What's In It For Me" or WIIFMs. By making the connection that you will really need maths as a resort manager so you will be able to calculate the profit because your bonus is a percentage of the profit; this helps to hold your interest now while you're learning it.

Also remember, that you talk to yourself 50,000 times a day – and who listens? YOU DO! If you tell yourself you can, you will. And if you tell yourself you can't – guess what – you won't! Positive self talk is the major key in building up the right attitude.

Question 8:

Here is a letter I received and my answer - I hope it sparks an interest.

I am contacting you with one main goal...to pick your brain about getting 'life strategies/skills' material into schools as is mandatory as English, Mathematics, Geography, Economic, Business classes. 

I am a school teacher & university lecturer in Economics & Business Studies yet find myself more & more integrating 'self-help' strategies everyday...kids seem to come out of the 'wood-works' for this help...yet the school system is anti-help by teachers unless you are a 'counsellor' (which I find sad given the counsellors I have personally worked with use text-book theory & victim enforcing remedies to amend the kids' issues). 

Life skills that teach our kids to recognise, take charge of their own life no-matter what the circumstances, take responsibilities of / own the feelings in their body, validate their feelings then create lasting change that serves.

NOW is the time to put School / Education at the forefront of this learning. I feel there needs to be a group of similiar minded people to make this a reality by 2005.

What will it take to get your help in making this happen in becoming a reality for the kids? 

Answer: I totally agree with your sentiments.

I have been gradually working towards contributing towards a solution for what you speak about. It's based on my seminar: Students' Success Seminar, which is based on my book "Students' Steps to Success". I have had the seminar filmed and am currently editing a 2nd draft of a Video Copy of the seminar. My plan is to have not only the video copy of the seminar, but a DVD copy of the seminar, and together with my book, Students' Steps to Success Audio tapes, Accelerated Learning Music tapes and 3 more audio tapes (or CDs), will be offered as a package for Students. I intend to have a separate website for this material.

As an extension to this I hope to get teachers from schools interested in presenting this material in their personal development programs. To this end I believe that teachers will need to attend a Facilitator's Program and taught how and what to present in the classroom. I am thinking of working towards having the teachers sponsored by Corporate to these Train-the-Trainer Programs. It's been in the melting pot for some considerable time and I have worked with a number of teachers in the past. As you know, I already conduct some seminars in schools and for some students, however most students don't find it "cool" to come to seminars. The answer is to teach them in schools or they can learn the skills at home from the above package.

Here's to the future - United we stand ....

Work situations

Question 1:

I find certain meetings at work difficult. There's one person who is really aggressive and when they 'have a go' at me, I blush and stammer and my mind goes blank. And I'm really upset for the rest of the day.

There are lots of tips for changing the dynamics in a meeting – from where you sit at the table to how you hold your body. And you know the answer to your question already I think. You have told me clearly what you don't want to happen. Now ask yourself this question: "If not this, then what? How do I want to be in this situation?" Before the meeting, go to your Peaceful Place and imagine yourself successfully handling the meeting, maybe even influencing it so that there is no aggression. By thinking of a positive future scenario you stop playing the other person's game (which is in the past) and regain personal power by taking control of your own direction. It's amazing how it works.

Sandy's E-Report - - has tips that will use calm techniques in every day life.  We will answer questions you ask and with your permission publish your successes stories using the CALM techniques so that you can assist others.  To Register and to receive SWITCH ON  Click here.

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